More to come soon

Just a note that I will not be updating for the next couple of weeks as my wife and I are expecting a new baby.  In chaos of bring home the new bundle of joy I will not be able to publish as frequently as usual. 

Do not forget about the living...especally the elderly and the interesting

Older relatives (relatively speaking) provide tremendous insight into the past.  This is a source of information that is commonly overlooked as we are searching the library for dates from centuries ago.  This website is all about getting the story of relatives and going “beyond the date” and conversation with the living is an excellent way to do that.   

It not just “the elderly” but also about “the interesting”, both have their purpose in your genealogy.  The goal is about documenting the story for your interest but also for future generations when they decide to take an interest (and that could be a while).  

The Elderly

First the elderly are a window into the past and their stories will not be here forever, if you don’t get the stories now they may take them with them when they go.  Anyone who has been doing family research has regrets about stories they would have liked to have heard about or questions they would have liked to asked to older relatives.  Even simple questions like “Did you have any aunts or uncles” could have answered many questions had they been asked.  But some relatives take extremely useful(from a research perspective) answers with them or simply forget over time.  So getting to them as soon as possible it necessary.  

Depending on your age you may be the oldest living relative if that is the case thats ok, write down your childhood memories.  Did you remember your parents? your grandparents? what were they like what memories to do you have of them.  Family stories about the great- great grandfather who was in the Civil War would never wear a grey suit.  Or the Great uncle that never wore shoes.  These kind of stories need to be written down or they won’t get passed down.  

If you are not the oldest who is, what do they remember?  Everyone is different, some people have sharp vivid memories while others forget information shortly after hearing it.  Everyone is important and you might need to ask many people to get the full stories.  One might have a general idea and another might have a fuller picture but there is also the chance that a third person will say that the first two were wrong.    

Make time and use technology (modern and old fashioned) Its all well and good to want to get these stories but the holder of the stories could live many hours or states(or countries)  away.  These stories are still valuable and still obtainable.   

The Interesting

The interesting, its not all about the elderly that have stories to tell.  Most people have fairly typical current stories to tell they were married in a certain year they have 2.5 children and have worked in a particular field for so many years.  These stories are important and need to be documented, but the interesting stories a the atypical ones that should be documented more in depth.  This category is the one that falls out of the norm.  Is there a half-uncle in Alaska?  How did he end up there and why did he stay?  Is there an uncle that was a cook on cargo ships for 20 years?  What memories does he have of that experience?  Some of these stories can be turn out to be sad but sometimes they turn out to defining experience in the lives of the people you are talking to.

The elderly in the interesting have stories to tell we just need to get to them and get them documented before they forget them or take them with them.

My next post i will offer 10 tips for interviewing the living for genealogy purposes.

Cemetery hopping with kids

Respectful,  Educational and Engaging

 

Photo by Oregon Department of Transportation found on commons.wikimedia.org

When tracking relative it will eventually lead you to the to graveyard.  Most genealogist want to get their dates from the source that is etched in stone.  Death certificates are great but they are not etched in stone. Although there can be discrepancies with grave markers too, they are nice to have in your collection of evidence of a person.  

One of my earliest genealogy memories is going cemetery hunting with my grandparents.  I don’t remember who we saw but I remember reading the stones and posing for pictures with distance relatives.

Morbid for some, memories for me.

Some of you may think that you may never get to that point because of kids.

You: “Cemetery hopping would be great but I can’t I’ve got small kids.”  

Me: “Totally understandable but why not take them along.”

You: “You don’t know my kids”  

Taking kids cemetery can be a family affair if it’s done correctly by making it a fun event that engages and educates. The following tips can be helpful for a successful trip to the grave yard

Make it an event and plan it out

- Plan this out in advance with a plan that involves everyone.  This is not something we are going to fit in before the grocery store on our list of errands.  

- Map out where you are going.  Try to not make it too far away or incorporate some other event with it (local restaurant maybe)

- Who is going to be there.  Explain who is buried there and how the children are related to them.  Do you have a story about the person to make it personal.  It’s funny when a child can relate to the stone of the person “It this the woman that made ugly sweaters?” “Is this the uncle that never wore shoes?” The funnier the story the better.  “Is this the great uncle that was buried in daddy’s suit because PopPop pulled the wrong one out of the closet to give the funeral home?”      

When you arrive

- Enlist the kids to help find the marker.  “We are looking for Smith not Jones because it is moms side of the family?”

- Take your data with you.  It is not unusual  to find someone not in your direct line but related in the area.  If you have your data with you.  “Lets see who that is, that is Great Great Uncle Tom, he died before he got married.”

- Be respectful.  Make sure the kids understand respect for the dead, you are there to learn about relatives not play. Grave markers are not jungle gyms.  This is especially true if there is a funeral going on.

- Explore a little, are all the relatives in one section or are they spread out? If there are any particular markers or statues that are unique you might want to get a closer look at them.  

-  Plan not to take too much time mourning.  If your parents or a close relative is buried there it might be nice to bring some flowers but don’t expect too much alone time with kids around.

- Do an activity besides flowers, rubbing are good to have.  Take a pencil and and sheet of computer paper, place the paper on the stone and rub the letters onto the paper.  Bring plenty of paper and pencils as this takes practice

- Get some pictures.  Some kids might not like the idea but many will pose right up to the stone and get in a picture.

-  Don’t forget why you are there.  You get so caught up that you forget you are there to verify dates with the info you already have.  Take picture(with your smartphone) of the stones and reference where in the cemetery they are.  

Lastly don’t over do it.  Doing this activity with kids is not something to be done too often.  Doing this more than a couple time a year is plenty or it will lose the fun of it.

On a side note in some traditions it is acceptable to have picnics at the cemetery.  This is too Adam’s family for my taste but if you want to take a blanket and basket and have lunch with the dead be my guest. 

Get that eulogy - Adding a funeral eulogy to your genealogy

At a funeral recently for my uncle, a niece of his that I was not that close to because of age and distance gave a wonderful eulogy about my uncle including christmas memories, trips to the ocean, and his famous distinct dark blue suit that he apparently wore to every formal function he had been to in the last decade (He had worn it to her wedding 7 years prior, just like he had worn it to mine more recently).  

Some of these stories were familiar to me, other I was just hearing for the first time.  So at the reception after the burial I commented to my cousin.  “Jane, that was a great eulogy, I would love to have a copy for the family genealogy.”  She said sure and I gave her my email address.  She was true to her word and three days later, a word document with the entire eulogy arrived in my inbox.  Had I not asked for it, those memories would have stayed in the church.  But now all the family can have a better understanding of who he was for generations to come.  

While I have my own memories that I could include, having an “official” eulogy that was given in public to a church full of people has more weight behind it.  While a video or audio recording would be inappropriate, the text of a eulogy is excellent for those who were not there or for those who were there to read and remember.    

I recommend asking for a eulogy if you feel comfortable so that others can understand the person more, as it was given by someone who knew them.

Notes on getting the eulogy:

- Be careful and sensitive to who you ask, you may have to wait a few weeks to ask for it if the person giving it was close to the deceased.  

- Along the same lines use discretion on when you ask.  Ask in a relaxed setting perhaps at a reception instead of at the funeral service.  

- Family eulogies are preferred to those of religious officials(ministers, priest, rabbi, etc) unless they knew the person, otherwise they are probably just wrote something based off the meeting with the family or the obituary.  

- A text might not exist.  Some people are excellent speakers and don’t use notes and speak from the cuff.  

- Make it easy.  Give them your email address on something other than a cocktail napkin that might get laundered or tossed.

- Try and get a soft copy so it will be easier to transfer on to the computer.  Copy and paste is much better than transcribing 5 pages of text, but transcribing is better than nothing at all.

Genealogy books for kids

When I was about eight years old my grandfather bought me the book My Family Tree Workbook (Dover Children's Activity Books), before he gave it to me he filled out the pages about himself and my grandmother (including pictures of him and her much younger).  Twenty plus years later I still credit this book with the beginning of my love for genealogy.  This book is for small children and is more about gathering information about people in the family.  It does not go into the nuances of research or how to research.  It is about getting a data about your own family (where they grew up, hobbies, etc.) with a big box to put a picture.  If you are trying to start a budding genealogist, this is your book.  This would be a great resource for giving to a child before a family reunion or function.  This would give them a reason to go up to and talk to relatives they otherwise would not know.  

Being a simple book it ask questions and puts lines so that the child can start with himself or herself and work their way back.  If also covers some introductory information about pedigree charts and family crests.  The book sprinkles in information on how to get more information and how to correspond with others.  

The limitations of this book is that it was published in 1982.  This limits the about it could tell about Internet or computers.  But that is not the purpose of this book.  This book is designed to be and self encompassing workbook for climbing an individual family tree.   That aspect is timeless and does not require technology.  Being that the designated age is between 9-12, it would hardly be expected that the child will be upset that this book do not have a database program with it.  This book is more of another activity book where the child can take notes about the questions and begin their quest to know the connections to the past and where they came from.       

Another highly recommended book for kids is Roots for Kids: A Genealogy Guide for Young People. 2nd Edition this book is geared towards school aged kids and talks much more about research and searching.  I don’t have much exposure to this book other than recommendations for others.  From the review it looks to be more advanced than the other book, which could make it a good step up from other book..  This book has more details about research and types of research and charts.  Both books are highly recommend though for different ages and different purposes.  

Facebook Genealogy

Since its creation in 2004 Facebook has amassed over a billion users, chances are that many of them are related to you and you may not even know it.  Doing a google search of “facebook genealogy” will yield many results.  From facebook genealogy apps to networking with other researchers.  But many article miss a basic fact about facebook, is that there are real people there who are related to you and have memories of genealogical significant stories and events that you do not have and that are not written down.  

Start with your "friends"

Go through your friends list

Login to facebook and look at your friend list.  How many of them are related to you?  How many of them are outside of your immediate family?  Of those people how many of them to do have a complete genealogy profile(with pictures) in your genealogy records?  If you said no to the last question, those people have information that you want and they are right there in front of you.  They may also have friends in their friend list that are related to you that you are not friends with.

These are excellent resources that can be turned into valuable genealogical information.  

It's all in the approach

The best way to get information that you need to is to ask for it by sending a message to the person who has some information.  

An example message to a cousin you know.

Hey Bill,

  As you may (or may not) know.  I have been doing genealogy in my spare time and wanted to know if you could give me some information about your family.  I am particularly interested in your parents (my Mother's sister) and what you could tell me about them and if you yourself may have any stories you remember about our grandmother than you would want to share.  I would like to continue to be in touch with you for specific dates, people and places for people in our family tree.

Thanks,

Linda (your first cousin)

Worst case: Bill deletes your message or Bill never logs in in anymore to read messages and you get no reply and you have wasted two minutes on facebook (like you have never done that before).

Best case: Bill is intrigued by you request, had information he wants to share.  And guess what his mother just got on to Facebook last year so she could see pics of the grandchildren and is happily accepting friend requests of people she knows.

Attempting to friend a more distant cousin.  

1. Note a common relative

2. Start slow and be precises (to avoid looking like a scam)

3. Don’t worry if you do not get a response

4 Don’t nag or you will be blocked :)

Dear Meg,

  My name is Linda Jones and I am your second cousin.  I got your name through your brother Joel.  You grandmother (Betsy Smith) and my grandmother (Grace Johnson) were sisters.  I have been doing research on the family tree and I was trying to get new information.  I am hoping to friend you so that you could share any family stories that would be interesting for the rest of the family about you, your parents or your grandparents.  I look forward to talking to you.

Thanks,

Linda

Worst case: Meg doesn’t friend you and you never hear from her again.  

Best case: Meg friends you and has stories to share with you about your relatives.

Conclusion

Facebook is a powerful tool that is making the world smaller and many of the people on the largest social network in the world are related to you.  Facebook has many genealogy apps that can range from interesting to useless, we hope to review them in the future to differentiate some of them in the future. 

Christmas newsletters … Love ‘em or hate ‘em but keep them

Two Schools of thought on Christmas Newsletters...

There are two schools of thought when it comes to Christmas newsletters.  The first is those that loathe them.  These people think the letter is a narcissistic exercise by people that they barely know to further selectively gloat about about the past year.  This is a valid argument, you rarely read “after Jimmy got home from prison he announced that he and Jaxsee were going to get married.”  They think the letter is a chore to read especially if they are from someone they barely know  If they do know the people then they would hopefully know all these events already.

The other school of thought (especially by the people who send these them)  is that they are a way to keep people up to date with what has happened to their family especially if they don’t get to see each other as often.  They think that this gives a collective “update” without having to go through the whole process of getting together.  

From a genealogy perspective no matter what camp you fall into you should find a means to keep these for prosperity.   The Christmas newsletter is historically a reversion to the old school letter as opposed to the traditional Christmas card.  But it also contains valuable genealogy information.  They contain vital information (“Judy got married in September”, “we lost Great Uncle Ed in the Spring”) as well as other “meta data” which doesn’t fit the Birth Marriage Death(BMD) vital date information but still contributes to the overall genealogy “story”.  This type of info contributes to understanding the person for future generations (“Jill graduated with honors from Ohio State”, “Justin started his law internship in Toledo”).  This provided valuable information about knowing the person.

From a historical perspective can you imagine if you had a Christmas newsletter from your great- great- grandmother about how the family was doing during the civil war.  The letter probably wouldn’t mention the war unless someone was deployed but it would tell about everyday life at the time with births and milestones.  So just think you are saving these things for your great great grandchildren to read in the year 2174.  No one thinks that far ahead but if you get rid of the newsletters nobody will have access to them in 2020 let alone 2174.  

So how do you save these things... 

The old adage “you can’t save everything” applies to this.  You could go out and get a file cabinet and put these newsletters in folders for each family.  My grandfather actually does this with his genealogy.  The question that he and everyone else realize is what is going to happens to all those files when he goes.  Most people don’t have the room for another file cabinet(or four) of inherited stuff that only quasi relates to your immediate family.  My grandfather is acutely aware of this because he inherited two file cabinets from his father.  There has to be a better way.

Christmas newsletter are not “official documents” so if you don’t have the room, I would suggest getting a good electronic legible copy and putting it on your hard drive (which you back up frequently locally and to “the cloud”) and linked in your genealogy software of choice.  Whether you do this via scanner or high quality picture matters not.  But having it so it can be accessed and read by future generations can provide a glimpse into a particular year of a particular family in time.  This may seem mundane to you living at this time in history but two or three generations hearing that we all sat around the television watching an event might be the equivalent of “we all sat around the Victrola and sang”  to give a historic perspective to the times and give more story to the people.    

This also might give you perspective if you write a Christmas newsletter, that you are night writing to your family and the neighbor down the street, you are writing for generations to come to see how a year in your life in the early 2000’s happened.